








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3496 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2752 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1818 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,463 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FATGUY | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | LightPat | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | ✪STIKER | 62% | 117 |
| #4 | cnnr | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Mronedeag | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Banss | 52% | 64 |
| #10 | Goodbye | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Jalify | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | Kiri | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | DacS ツ | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪STIKER | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voltage | 417 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Banss | 386 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪STIKER | 316 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Goodbye | 316 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | LightPat | 228 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cnnr | +1.56 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | Swenkii | +1.53 | 90 | 65 |
| #3 | kush | kickback.com | +1.11 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | ✪STIKER | +0.95 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | Goodbye | +0.81 | 71 | 66 |





