








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3497 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2483 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2928 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,394 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FATGUY | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | cnnr | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | LightPat | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | ✪STIKER | 58% | 151 |
| #5 | kush | kickback.com | 58% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | jww | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | Banss | 49% | 119 |
| #9 | Goodbye | 48% | 113 |
| #10 | DacS ツ | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Swenkii | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪STIKER | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Banss | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | DacS ツ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | FATGUY | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | jww | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banss | 779 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #2 | kush | kickback.com | 775 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #3 | Goodbye | 540 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #4 | ✪STIKER | 435 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | TrueRedux | 300 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goodbye | +1.54 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | kush | kickback.com | +0.96 | 61 | 77 |
| #3 | jww | +0.73 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | Swenkii | +0.59 | 89 | 63 |
| #5 | cnnr | +0.59 | 75 | 54 |





