








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 365 | 25% |
| Smokes | 357 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 313 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 449 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,492 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paqx | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | 𝗭𝗼̄𝗸𝗮 | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Andrews | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | Lukas_64JDM | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | Soap | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lukas_64JDM | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | Soap | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Wilson Woldroft | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | C-L-3-M | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | Pixe | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrews | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Paqx | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paqx | 55 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 50 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | C-L-3-M | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andrews | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wilson Woldroft | 26 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paqx | +3.39 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | +2.39 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | Sat0shi | +0.83 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Andrews | +0.49 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Soap | -0.28 | 63 | 57 |





