








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2525 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2293 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 919 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1938 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,190 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrews | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 60% | 86 |
| #3 | Rbng | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Alex Tahlesouf | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | 老师 | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrews | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 60% | 86 |
| #3 | Rbng | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Alex Tahlesouf | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | 老师 | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 老师 | 14 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Alex Tahlesouf | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Andrews | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Rbng | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 老师 | 342 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Lukas_64JDM | 210 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Andrews | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rbng | 62 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Alex Tahlesouf | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 老师 | +3.91 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Rbng | +1.67 | 38 | 55 |
| #3 | Lukas_64JDM | +1.16 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | Paqx | +0.71 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Andrews | +0.60 | 67 | 60 |





