








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 650 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4417 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5210 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7258 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7379 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,378,393 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UfRoC | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | SOMETIMES | 53% | 261 |
| #3 | JaYeti | 53% | 354 |
| #4 | HomoKomando | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | OhioMeister | 51% | 327 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JaYeti | 53% | 354 |
| #4 | HomoKomando | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | OhioMeister | 51% | 327 |
| #6 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 49% | 524 |
| #7 | poklucza | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 36 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | HomoKomando | 21 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | OhioMeister | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | JaYeti | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SOMETIMES | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 1146 | 0.11 | 34 min |
| #2 | SOMETIMES | 1062 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #3 | JaYeti | 800 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #4 | OhioMeister | 630 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | poklucza | 195 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOMETIMES | +2.28 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | JaYeti | +2.20 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | OhioMeister | +0.61 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | +0.25 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | UfRoC | -0.46 | 71 | 53 |





