








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 544 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6037 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5754 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3417 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,885 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HomoKomando | 56% | 119 |
| #2 | UfRoC | 55% | 120 |
| #3 | ✞Mikuś✞ | 53% | 354 |
| #4 | OhioMeister | 52% | 434 |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 52% | 535 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 52% | 535 |
| #6 | SOMETIMES | 52% | 293 |
| #7 | AVIPL | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | poklucza | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | ADK | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 38 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | OhioMeister | 21 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ✞Mikuś✞ | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SOMETIMES | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | HomoKomando | 9 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOMETIMES | 1212 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 1135 | 0.10 | 36 min |
| #3 | OhioMeister | 913 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | ✞Mikuś✞ | 658 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #5 | poklucza | 215 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaYeti | +1.55 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | ADK | +1.23 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | SOMETIMES | +1.15 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | OhioMeister | +0.22 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | -0.25 | 70 | 66 |





