








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8833 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7314 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5758 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5571 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,773,781 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rhombus | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | woozy | 53% | 476 |
| #3 | silver 1 | 53% | 886 |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 50% | 116 |
| #5 | mole | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 50% | 116 |
| #5 | mole | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | Huddogrump | 49% | 242 |
| #7 | Saitama | 46% | 321 |
| #8 | osaka | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silver 1 | 35 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | IKNOWDEWAY | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | woozy | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Saitama | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ✪ rhombus | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woozy | 1838 | 0.18 | 43 min |
| #2 | silver 1 | 1772 | 0.10 | 43 min |
| #3 | Saitama | 814 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | 247 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Huddogrump | 232 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riki Nendō | +1.68 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | woozy | +1.03 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | silver 1 | +0.59 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | IKNOWDEWAY | +0.07 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | ✪ rhombus | -0.17 | 63 | 55 |





