








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 29% |
| Smokes | 834 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1069 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 923 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,977 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woozy | 55% | 75 |
| #2 | drexel | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Riki Nendō | 50% | 116 |
| #4 | silver 1 | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | KSLife | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | silver 1 | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | KSLife | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | Saitama | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Huddogrump | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | Cheqed | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silver 1 | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | woozy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Cheqed | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riki Nendō | 535 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | woozy | 357 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | silver 1 | 326 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | KSLife | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Saitama | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drexel | +1.41 | 42 | 69 |
| #2 | Riki Nendō | +1.06 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | KSLife | +1.06 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | woozy | +0.74 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | silver 1 | -0.22 | 56 | 53 |





