








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




515 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8078 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4355 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3253 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2732 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,365,826 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain cooked | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | ♥️SilverSurfer♥ | 44% | 395 |
| #3 | blehhhh :p | 43% | 235 |
| #4 | P250 | Sand Dune | 39% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain cooked | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | ♥️SilverSurfer♥ | 44% | 395 |
| #3 | blehhhh :p | 43% | 235 |
| #4 | P250 | Sand Dune | 39% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥️SilverSurfer♥ | 188 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | blehhhh :p | 131 | 0.0312 |
| #3 | P250 | Sand Dune | 46 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | captain cooked | 22 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥️SilverSurfer♥ | 937 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | captain cooked | 638 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | blehhhh :p | 622 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | P250 | Sand Dune | 193 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥️SilverSurfer♥ | +2.70 | 69 | 39 |
| #2 | captain cooked | +2.30 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | WOWSUCHYEET | +0.73 | 73 | 42 |
| #4 | blehhhh :p | +0.46 | 75 | 21 |
| #5 | P250 | Sand Dune | -1.75 | 51 | 41 |





