








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 813 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 599 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7381 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4589 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3146 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3290 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,598,097 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomblondel1711 | 48% | 283 |
| #2 | Vutsi | 45% | 185 |
| #3 | ChaCha | 44% | 226 |
| #4 | Chat noir et blanc | 44% | 281 |
| #5 | Raugue | 43% | 460 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ChaCha | 44% | 226 |
| #4 | Chat noir et blanc | 44% | 281 |
| #5 | Raugue | 43% | 460 |
| #6 | Rocco Siffredi | 42% | 43 |
| #7 | Lomsal | 42% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raugue | 56 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Lomsal | 36 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | tomblondel1711 | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Chat noir et blanc | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ChaCha | 21 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raugue | 710 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Chat noir et blanc | 378 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vutsi | 356 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | tomblondel1711 | 249 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | ChaCha | 171 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vutsi | +2.71 | 23 | 58 |
| #2 | Chat noir et blanc | +1.99 | 32 | 46 |
| #3 | tomblondel1711 | +1.95 | 23 | 38 |
| #4 | Raugue | +1.09 | 30 | 49 |
| #5 | ChaCha | +0.06 | 21 | 57 |





