








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 21% |
| Smokes | 534 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,505 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leilameow~ | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ashhe | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Wicked™ | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Yuzu | 52% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Angel | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Putrik | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | Eve | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | JackH | 38% | 29 |
| #10 | Kyaru | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eve | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Putrik | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Yuzu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuzu | 141 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Eve | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Putrik | 84 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | JackH | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leilameow~ | +2.75 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | +2.56 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Wicked™ | +1.33 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | Angel | +1.32 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | Yuzu | +1.11 | 80 | 66 |





