








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2543 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2040 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1261 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,679 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | ✈⛴ | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Kyaru | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | JackH | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | shortyy | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuzu | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Putrik | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | JackH | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | shortyy | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuzu | 339 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 310 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Putrik | 183 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ashhe | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | JackH | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | +2.66 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | shortyy | +0.96 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Yuzu | +0.91 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | Angel | +0.89 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | Eve | +0.83 | 87 | 66 |





