








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1971 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1452 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2289 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,033 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | shortyy | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | JackH | 48% | 52 |
| #11 | Putrik | 45% | 71 |
| #12 | ashhe | 44% | 41 |
| #13 | catffee | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eve | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Putrik | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | JackH | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ashhe | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Eve | 307 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Putrik | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ashhe | 127 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | JackH | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leilameow~ | +2.11 | 59 | 61 |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | +2.08 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Yuzu | +1.06 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Wicked™ | +0.98 | 72 | 45 |
| #5 | shortyy | +0.25 | 79 | 65 |





