








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 411 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2140 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3621 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6083 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,975 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slezinak | 57% | 295 |
| #2 | La Morte | 57% | 160 |
| #3 | Fofo | 56% | 210 |
| #4 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 55% | 256 |
| #5 | NKwastaken | 54% | 457 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fofo | 56% | 210 |
| #4 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 55% | 256 |
| #5 | NKwastaken | 54% | 457 |
| #6 | Ross Crock | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | (waixx) daro | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slezinak | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | NKwastaken | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Fofo | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | La Morte | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | 1224 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | slezinak | 331 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 325 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fofo | 291 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | La Morte | 194 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | +2.04 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | La Morte | +1.25 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | slezinak | +0.48 | 85 | 47 |
| #4 | geco na pleco | +0.25 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | -0.56 | 63 | 56 |





