








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 308 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1501 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3509 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2500 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2331 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,493 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 61% | 221 |
| #2 | La Morte | 60% | 176 |
| #3 | NKwastaken | 58% | 265 |
| #4 | slezinak | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | geco na pleco | 56% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 61% | 221 |
| #2 | La Morte | 60% | 176 |
| #3 | NKwastaken | 58% | 265 |
| #4 | slezinak | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | geco na pleco | 56% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geco na pleco | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | NKwastaken | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | La Morte | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | slezinak | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | 740 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | geco na pleco | 309 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 300 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | slezinak | 225 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | La Morte | 219 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | +2.32 | 85 | 79 |
| #2 | La Morte | +1.24 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | slezinak | +0.50 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | +0.34 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | geco na pleco | -0.45 | 62 | 57 |





