








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 289 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1847 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2310 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3365 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2802 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,757 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fofo | 60% | 176 |
| #2 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 58% | 127 |
| #3 | NKwastaken | 57% | 210 |
| #4 | geco na pleco | 57% | 160 |
| #5 | slezinak | 57% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fofo | 60% | 176 |
| #2 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 58% | 127 |
| #3 | NKwastaken | 57% | 210 |
| #4 | geco na pleco | 57% | 160 |
| #5 | slezinak | 57% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geco na pleco | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | NKwastaken | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | slezinak | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Fofo | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | 556 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fofo | 212 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | geco na pleco | 195 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | slezinak | 194 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKwastaken | +1.99 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | La Morte | +0.87 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | slezinak | +0.29 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | Luky *Laco* GuardiaN | -0.25 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | geco na pleco | -0.78 | 64 | 55 |





