








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 116 matches | 1,786 | |
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1590 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1374 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1776 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1426 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,573 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lukas | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | ehrling | 60% | 84 |
| #3 | NoOz | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | crEAt | 56% | 113 |
| #5 | CAJP | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crEAt | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ehrling | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | mrstealyourwife | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crEAt | +6.06 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | lukas | +1.51 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | mrstealyourwife | +1.47 | 70 | 79 |
| #4 | ehrling | +0.71 | 65 | 74 |
| #5 | CAJP | -1.14 | 57 | 77 |





