








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 43 matches | 1,696 | |
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 23% |
| Smokes | 969 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1057 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,579 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAJP | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | ehrling | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | mrstealyourwife | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | crEAt | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | SÄÄÄjmON | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrstealyourwife | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SÄÄÄjmON | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ehrling | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crEAt | +5.30 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | mrstealyourwife | +2.71 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | ehrling | +2.35 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | Creamypies | +0.53 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | CAJP | +0.12 | 67 | 81 |





