










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 90 matches | 1,760 | |
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2831 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3099 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2397 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2454 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,679 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrstealyourwife | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | SÄÄÄjmON | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Creamypies | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | crEAt | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | GLUTENmacka | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crEAt | +5.28 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | mrstealyourwife | +1.87 | 70 | 78 |
| #3 | lukas | +1.11 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | ehrling | +0.98 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | CAJP | +0.85 | 68 | 77 |





