








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 224 matches | ||
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4735 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7166 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8604 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4505 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,963,889 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | S1BO☜☯☞[GER] | 46% | 581 |
| #6 | KKS | 46% | 478 |
| #7 | TheHero1994 | 45% | 659 |
| #8 | Yumai | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | Johnny Pot Smoker | 35% | 60 |





