








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1371 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1873 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2708 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2716 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,492 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Toyota #Yaris Tsport 2005 1.5l | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | SKULLYKIDD | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | pooka | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Dirty Mogger | 51% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Handsomeboy96 | 48% | 135 |
| #9 | hildeeni | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | Joksteer | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 45% | 49 |
| #12 | niilo | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handsomeboy96 | 32 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Dirty Mogger | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 11 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | The Wandering sad Knight | 8 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handsomeboy96 | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dirty Mogger | 158 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Wandering sad Knight | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | pooka | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | +3.59 | 79 | 48 |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | +2.88 | 50 | 68 |
| #3 | Joksteer | +2.35 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.73 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | cabbitlovr999 | +1.26 | 62 | 65 |





