








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 220 matches | 1,594 | |
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4189 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3819 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2707 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,091 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nico | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | shoonys | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | ✪ Eloffsson | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | CHEETOS ♠ | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐲𝐁 | 49% | 114 |





