








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1266 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,827 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syvex | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | jEMi | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | TuSzKK | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Cheesy | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | OLA HALVORSEN | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Armorboy | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | EnerN xd | 43% | 42 |
| #12 | Nyah! | 40% | 40 |
| #13 | jjjj_jjjj | 39% | 41 |
| #14 | maderfkr | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meland | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | EnerN xd | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | jjjj_jjjj | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Nyah! | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | TuSzKK | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuSzKK | 77 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nyah! | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | jjjj_jjjj | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Meland | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | OLA HALVORSEN | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuSzKK | +2.78 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | Cheesy | +2.41 | 68 | 15 |
| #3 | OLA HALVORSEN | +1.82 | 91 | 65 |
| #4 | Meland | +1.78 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | syvex | +1.64 | 86 | 49 |





