








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1752 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2475 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3660 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,381 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesy | 60% | 91 |
| #2 | dravenzki | 56% | 102 |
| #3 | jEMi | 55% | 112 |
| #4 | Fixi^ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | fredrik | 53% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | EnerN xd | 50% | 230 |
| #10 | Nyah! | 50% | 222 |
| #11 | Benny | 49% | 53 |
| #12 | Mosteren | 47% | 77 |
| #13 | maderfkr | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjj_jjjj | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | EnerN xd | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nyah! | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | dravenzki | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Cheesy | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyah! | 382 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | jjjj_jjjj | 381 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | fredrik | 363 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | jEMi | 251 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | dravenzki | 249 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jEMi | +2.89 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | Meland | +2.25 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | Cheesy | +1.88 | 66 | 37 |
| #4 | fredrik | +1.37 | 81 | 58 |
| #5 | maderfkr | +1.29 | 86 | 58 |





