








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 661 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4811 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 2916 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,064 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jjjj_jjjj | 46% | 182 |
| #11 | Nyah! | 46% | 216 |
| #12 | GAMECHANGER | 44% | 18 |
| #13 | Mosteren | 43% | 42 |
| #14 | Benny | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meland | 23 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | jjjj_jjjj | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Cheesy | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Nyah! | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | dravenzki | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyah! | 397 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | jjjj_jjjj | 321 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Meland | 171 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | dravenzki | 169 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | fredrik | 154 | 0.08 | 4 min |





