








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1058 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,138 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4835 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6352 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4484 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4283 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,998 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spectacle | 61% | 123 |
| #2 | k331m | 61% | 127 |
| #3 | syvex | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | Cakeboy | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | tjobo | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | k331m | 61% | 127 |
| #3 | syvex | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | Cakeboy | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | tjobo | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | OLA HALVORSEN | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k331m | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | syvex | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Spectacle | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | tjobo | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Cakeboy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spectacle | 442 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | k331m | 358 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | tjobo | 131 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | syvex | 97 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cakeboy | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuSzKK | +1.78 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | syvex | +1.58 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | tjobo | +0.73 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | k331m | -0.03 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Spectacle | -0.19 | 68 | 63 |





