








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2717 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 955 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,025 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japezz | 56% | 159 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 56% | 263 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | Meat Shield | 51% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japezz | 56% | 159 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 56% | 263 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | Meat Shield | 51% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japezz | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Meat Shield | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japezz | 387 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 309 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Meat Shield | 48 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KasuaaliKassu | +3.29 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | +2.19 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | +1.92 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Japezz | -2.23 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | Meat Shield | -5.03 | 15 | 54 |





