








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4479 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5828 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3649 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3609 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,342,362 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 905 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KasuaaliKassu | 56% | 159 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 51% | 222 |
| #4 | Mak3z | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | Meat Shield | 50% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KasuaaliKassu | 56% | 159 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | 51% | 222 |
| #4 | Mak3z | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | Meat Shield | 50% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jenn1 | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | KasuaaliKassu | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Mak3z | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Meat Shield | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KasuaaliKassu | 487 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Jenn1 | 439 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | TungtungtungSahur | 323 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mak3z | 158 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Meat Shield | 42 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KasuaaliKassu | +3.96 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | TungtungtungSahur | +2.59 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Jenn1 | +2.11 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Mak3z | +0.35 | 41 | 52 |
| #5 | Japezz | -1.74 | 50 | 53 |





