








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Esplay | 27 matches | 1,778 | |
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3490 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3866 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3188 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3722 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,221,264 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiko | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Rage | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Knopfler | 58% | 83 |
| #4 | lassegoon | 56% | 149 |
| #5 | BOT Gunnar | 55% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BrinkeN | 48% | 65 |
| #9 | jokke | 47% | 137 |
| #10 | majonäs jonas | 46% | 71 |
| #11 | Ghost... | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | dizzydwarf | 22% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jokke | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Saiko | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | lassegoon | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BOT Gunnar | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | majonäs jonas | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jokke | 379 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | majonäs jonas | 237 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | lassegoon | 197 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Saiko | 192 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | grisconny | 166 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiko | +8.47 | 90 | 77 |
| #2 | grisconny | +2.42 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Rage | +2.40 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | BrinkeN | +1.56 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | lassegoon | +0.80 | 70 | 51 |





