










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3486 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3299 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2518 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,757 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiko | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | BOT Gunnar | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | Rage | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | majonäs jonas | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | lassegoon | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BrinkeN | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | grisconny | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | GrabbenmedG | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | dizzydwarf | 31% | 29 |
| #13 | 7\ | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | majonäs jonas | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Zyr0ooo | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | BrinkeN | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | BOT Gunnar | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | lassegoon | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyr0ooo | 345 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | majonäs jonas | 305 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rage | 151 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ghost... | 93 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Saiko | 92 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiko | +10.45 | 93 | 80 |
| #2 | grisconny | +3.25 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | BrinkeN | +2.71 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | Rage | +2.33 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | lassegoon | +1.23 | 70 | 50 |





