








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 34% |
| Smokes | 886 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 215 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,679 of utility $279 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | jokke | 45% | 38 |
| #12 | Von 💦 | 31% | 13 |
| #13 | raztratt<3 | 27% | 11 |
| #14 | Ollie-- | 27% | 11 |
| #15 | dizzydwarf | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiko | 7 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | lassegoon | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | jokke | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Ollie-- | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Zyr0ooo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyr0ooo | 178 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | grisconny | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | jokke | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | lassegoon | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Saiko | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |





