










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 946 | 36% |
| Smokes | 430 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 736 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,055 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTheBasen | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Tonpede | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | PierreNie | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tonpede | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | PierreNie | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | Skibidi Boomstick | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonpede | 19 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | ForTheBasen | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 4 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Skibidi Boomstick | 3 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonpede | 239 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | ForTheBasen | 164 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | PierreNie | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Skibidi Boomstick | 27 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTheBasen | +6.93 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | +5.43 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | Tonpede | +1.66 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | Skibidi Boomstick | +1.65 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | PierreNie | -0.15 | 52 | 54 |





