








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3667 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2758 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4159 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1826 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,847 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PierreNie | 61% | 64 |
| #2 | ForTheBasen | 60% | 200 |
| #3 | Tonpede | 59% | 238 |
| #4 | jag äter hundar | 59% | 90 |
| #5 | Bean Boi | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ForTheBasen | 60% | 200 |
| #3 | Tonpede | 59% | 238 |
| #4 | jag äter hundar | 59% | 90 |
| #5 | Bean Boi | 52% | 63 |
| #6 | Disconnect.wtf | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonpede | 50 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | ForTheBasen | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | PierreNie | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | jag äter hundar | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTheBasen | 1264 | 0.29 | 32 min |
| #2 | Tonpede | 1139 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #3 | jag äter hundar | 187 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | PierreNie | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Disconnect.wtf | 120 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTheBasen | +4.28 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | +2.97 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Tonpede | -0.11 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | PierreNie | -0.25 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Disconnect.wtf | -2.49 | 49 | 44 |





