








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8250 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5687 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4812 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3110 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,455 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapid-fire monster | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 60% | 200 |
| #3 | Tonpede | 57% | 364 |
| #4 | Bean Boi | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | jag äter hundar | 53% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 60% | 200 |
| #3 | Tonpede | 57% | 364 |
| #4 | Bean Boi | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | jag äter hundar | 53% | 131 |
| #6 | PierreNie | 52% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonpede | 61 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | jag äter hundar | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | PierreNie | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonpede | 1564 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | 530 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | jag äter hundar | 270 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | PierreNie | 251 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rapid-fire monster | 115 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForTheBasen | +4.00 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Consumer Tony | +2.60 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Tonpede | -0.07 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | PierreNie | -1.13 | 51 | 54 |
| #5 | Rapid-fire monster | -1.75 | 42 | 63 |





