








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 438 | 21% |
| Smokes | 624 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,455 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | athenical | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | PuZiTe | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | bogdan | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | pb3k | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | каваии ивар чан | 40% | 10 |
| #15 | Evertino | 40% | 15 |
| #16 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 38% | 8 |
| #17 | CROOPE | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogdan | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | KagisB | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | 3 2 1 i vomited | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogdan | 112 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | 3 2 1 i vomited | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | KagisB | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | +4.96 | 88 | 81 |
| #2 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | +3.52 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | PuZiTe | +3.34 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | The Morbius | +2.99 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | 3 2 1 i vomited | +1.69 | 89 | 77 |





