








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4960 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3427 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3374 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,183 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Morbius | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 54% | 131 |
| #4 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 54% | 100 |
| #5 | KagisB | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DyopeX | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | каваии ивар чан | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 537 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | DyopeX | 338 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | PuZiTe | 286 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 276 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | KagisB | 274 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | +5.09 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | The Morbius | +4.28 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | +3.85 | 89 | 70 |
| #4 | PuZiTe | +3.53 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | DyopeX | +2.97 | 64 | 62 |





