








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 779 | 28% |
| Smokes | 648 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 590 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,299 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 52% | 27 |
| #10 | Evertino | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | DyopeX | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | KagisB | 38% | 34 |
| #13 | каваии ивар чан | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | The Morbius | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | bogdan | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | KagisB | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogdan | 267 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 130 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | KagisB | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Morbius | 51 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |





