








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 505 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1274 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1463 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,301 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pb3k | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Disa_Ve | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | .dookie. | 60% | 89 |
| #4 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | KagisB | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | The Morbius | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 48% | 98 |
| #10 | каваии ивар чан | 47% | 47 |
| #11 | PuZiTe | 43% | 54 |
| #12 | bogdan | 39% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | DyopeX | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | .dookie. | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | bogdan | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DyopeX | 394 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | bogdan | 345 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 335 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 308 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | KagisB | 191 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | +3.00 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | PuZiTe | +2.88 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | The Morbius | +2.86 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | DyopeX | +2.40 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | pb3k | -0.22 | 75 | 53 |





