








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 17% |
| Smokes | 781 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1019 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,516 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Humps | 42% | 103 |
| #14 | Larksi | 36% | 25 |
| #15 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 33% | 33 |
| #16 | ULIvain | 28% | 36 |
| #17 | Teukka | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULIvain | 25 | 0.0371 |
| #2 | Humps | 17 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | timppa | 13 | 0.0320 |
| #4 | Teukka | 4 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | m0nkeSY | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 576 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | ULIvain | 136 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 97 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Finrape | 84 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xenkknar | 79 | 0.21 | 2 min |





