








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1241 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1770 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 982 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1473 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,458 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Carrasco | 46% | 98 |
| #8 | yanilmaz peek | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | Scofield | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | sd | 39% | 74 |
| #11 | TIAKO | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puga pulicia | 9 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Carrasco | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | sd | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Fidji | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | yanilmaz peek | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrasco | 215 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | sd | 142 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | puga pulicia | 84 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | yanilmaz peek | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pac | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |





