








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2393 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4481 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3613 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3592 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,879,573 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN-... | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Chenn | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Schlobbel | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | ✦ rezzi | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | Nosferaschu | 53% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Atze | 53% | 99 |
| #8 | [KRL] illu | 50% | 40 |
| #9 | Naddelx3 | 45% | 53 |
| #10 | Lapiru | 45% | 49 |
| #11 | Crankill | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LemmyDos | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ✦ rezzi | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Atze | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Lapiru | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | [KRL] illu | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LemmyDos | 366 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nosferaschu | 363 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | ✦ rezzi | 100 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Crankill | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chenn | 85 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chenn | +2.97 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | DaN-... | +1.96 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | ✦ rezzi | +1.65 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | Crankill | +1.21 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Nathan_NTK | +0.82 | 67 | 49 |





