








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1916 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2693 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4489 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4108 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,517,325 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoyalPug | 51% | 184 |
| #2 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 51% | 368 |
| #3 | ChrBnks | 48% | 283 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 45% | 160 |
| #5 | Goose | 38% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoyalPug | 51% | 184 |
| #2 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 51% | 368 |
| #3 | ChrBnks | 48% | 283 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 45% | 160 |
| #5 | Goose | 38% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrBnks | 77 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 48 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Goose | 26 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 21 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | RoyalPug | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrBnks | 621 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | THE LAW | 248 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | RoyalPug | 226 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 221 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Goose | 22 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | +2.38 | 57 | 47 |
| #2 | ChrBnks | +1.29 | 35 | 33 |
| #3 | RoyalPug | +0.74 | 32 | 40 |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | -0.68 | 25 | 21 |
| #5 | Goose | -2.27 | 4 | 11 |





