








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1072 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2869 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1255 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,970,343 of utility $329 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | 51% | 368 |
| #2 | RoyalPug | 48% | 175 |
| #3 | ChrBnks | 46% | 222 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | Goose | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | 51% | 368 |
| #2 | RoyalPug | 48% | 175 |
| #3 | ChrBnks | 46% | 222 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | Goose | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | 62 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | ChrBnks | 35 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | THE LAW | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Goose | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | RoyalPug | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | 661 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | ChrBnks | 516 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | THE LAW | 239 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | RoyalPug | 235 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Goose | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | +2.47 | 58 | 50 |
| #2 | ChrBnks | +1.22 | 36 | 39 |
| #3 | RoyalPug | +0.42 | 33 | 44 |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | -0.47 | 26 | 22 |
| #5 | Goose | -2.45 | 5 | 13 |





