








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 105 | 8% |
| Smokes | 425 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,791 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 823 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrBnks | 43% | 159 |
| #2 | RoyalPug | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | pringletingl. | 38% | 135 |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 37% | 84 |
| #5 | THE LAW | 29% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrBnks | 43% | 159 |
| #2 | RoyalPug | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | pringletingl. | 38% | 135 |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 37% | 84 |
| #5 | THE LAW | 29% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | 54 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | ChrBnks | 47 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | THE LAW | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | RoyalPug | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrBnks | 335 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | pringletingl. | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | THE LAW | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | RoyalPug | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pringletingl. | +2.58 | 53 | 44 |
| #2 | ChrBnks | +1.33 | 32 | 33 |
| #3 | RoyalPug | +0.00 | 38 | 33 |
| #4 | Dave, the magical cheese wizard | -0.78 | 27 | 23 |
| #5 | Goose | -1.78 | 5 | 13 |





