








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 28% |
| Smokes | 408 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 350 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 550 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,030 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cherbourg ceo | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | Perry the Platypussy | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | Krico Sex Doll | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | blank | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | Crypticz | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (taylor's version) | 81 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | cherbourg ceo | 48 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | freakbob | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jfeak | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | blank | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (taylor's version) | +8.10 | 93 | 69 |
| #2 | cherbourg ceo | +7.50 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | freakbob | +5.37 | 95 | 79 |
| #4 | blank | +2.36 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | Krico Sex Doll | +2.19 | 57 | 22 |





