










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2747 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4143 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2430 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3112 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,731 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blank | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Jfeak | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | cherbourg ceo | 58% | 178 |
| #4 | meowntain | 57% | 148 |
| #5 | Fatworm | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | meowntain | 57% | 148 |
| #5 | Fatworm | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | Micky The Lad | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Perry the Platypussy | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | Crypticz | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jfeak | 7 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | cherbourg ceo | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Micky The Lad | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | meowntain | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Perry the Platypussy | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cherbourg ceo | 479 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | meowntain | 100 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fatworm | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | blank | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Crypticz | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (taylor's version) | +3.60 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | cherbourg ceo | +1.07 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | meowntain | -0.44 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | blank | -0.55 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | Perry the Platypussy | -2.31 | 59 | 45 |





