








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 88 matches | 1,722 | |
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1854 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1789 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1604 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,680 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | BanjoRune | 46% | 63 |
| #15 | broderpimp69 | 46% | 35 |
| #16 | BRUNO | 45% | 33 |
| #17 | kELSO | 40% | 20 |
| #18 | che | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Housewally | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BRUNO | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | disco dreigen | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | BanjoRune | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | broderpimp69 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Housewally | 225 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | disco dreigen | 203 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | broderpimp69 | 168 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | che | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | BanjoRune | 126 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cazorlie | +2.97 | 60 | 75 |
| #2 | BRUNO | +2.38 | 61 | 76 |
| #3 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.78 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Housewally | +1.53 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | Sinsin | +1.30 | 52 | 75 |





