








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 33 matches | 1,837 | |
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1244 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1256 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 880 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,477 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | berrolini | 50% | 32 |
| #13 | Andycheck | 46% | 35 |
| #14 | BanjoRune | 43% | 14 |
| #15 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 43% | 21 |
| #16 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disco dreigen | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Housewally | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Andycheck | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | BRUNO | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | che | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BanjoRune | +2.58 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | aha... | +2.48 | 91 | 79 |
| #3 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.82 | 48 | 71 |
| #4 | BRUNO | +0.85 | 58 | 78 |
| #5 | Housewally | +0.72 | 73 | 72 |





