








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1013 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1158 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,101 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rxsk | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | november | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Jan S> Alyx Genuine Pins | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | gzey | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | =doc= | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rxsk | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | tobbz_fpv | 29 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | gzey | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | november | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | =doc= | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gzey | +4.81 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | tobbz_fpv | +2.98 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | Der Fliegende Holländer | +1.91 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | november | +0.05 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | rxsk | -0.11 | 65 | 33 |





