








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1045 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3040 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4669 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5119 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3643 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,809,834 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rxsk | 59% | 301 |
| #2 | Petri | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | tobbz_fpv | 57% | 111 |
| #4 | Sandbank | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | =doc= | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Petri | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | tobbz_fpv | 57% | 111 |
| #4 | Sandbank | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | =doc= | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | Femboy_mev_ka | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rxsk | 31 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Sandbank | 21 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | =doc= | 20 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | Femboy_mev_ka | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | tobbz_fpv | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rxsk | 295 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | tobbz_fpv | 253 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | =doc= | 183 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sandbank | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Petri | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gzey | +3.17 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | tobbz_fpv | +1.93 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | rxsk | +1.42 | 59 | 38 |
| #4 | Petri | -0.32 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Sandbank | -1.26 | 36 | 47 |





